‘Forgive me, Mama’: A Gaza mother’s agony for a son Israel killed | Gaza

MAWASI KHAN YOIS, GAZA – His son’s last words chase Ghalia Radwan.

“Forgive me, mom,” said the 24 -year -old while dying, shot by Israeli soldiers while he was on a rescue mission on March 23, who recorded until his last breath.

He wanted his forgiveness for the pain that his death would cause, he knew that she had worried about him every day since he had become paramedic.

“I forgive you, son,” Ghalia has innumerable times in countless times, knowing that Rifaat had wanted her consciousness clear before she died in southern Gaza with another 14 emergency workers.

She hopes he knows that he would always get dark.

‘I felt like a dagger pierced my heart’

On the morning of March 22, Ghalia woke up later than usual and hastened to see the raffle before going to work.

But he was already gone, and his heart was filled with fear.

“I kept looking at him the night before he slept for some reason,” she says.

The night of March 21 was not remarkable. The raffle came home in time to break its Ramadan fasting with its family in the displacement tent where they live.

After Iphtar’s simple food, he spoke a bit with his parents and then went to sleep.

“However, the strange terrible and always I hope I get home so we could chat, we always did not get tired of talking or staying late late,” says Rifaat’s father, Anwar Radwan.

Ghalia agrees: “I was only washed my clothes and prepared his place to sleep, so that I could go to work rest.”

He is not sure, but he believes that Rifate woke up around dawn for Suhoor, daily food before fasting Betins Duning Ramadan, and his creagas of Creams were collected to go to work. He did not get home after that turn, spending the night in the first center responds.

On March 23, Rifate was told that Rifate was one of the 15 Civil Defense Rescue workers of Palestine Red Crescent who were missing and feared ambushed by Israeli soldiers.

That news launched the family eight days of tormented waiting, praying and waiting for the raffle to be alive.

“I would reduce back and forest, crying, praying and stopping with God, while constantly calling the average red average,” says Ghalia on the wait while the Palestinian authorities tried to be accepted by Israel to accept a search operation. “Every time they told us that Israeli coordination had been denied, I fainted for pain.”

On the morning of Eid Al-Fitr, the family received a call from the average red average that the Israeli permit had finally granted to the search teams to enter the area.

“I would like whose agonizing hours of waiting for any mother in the world,” says Ghalia.

There is no Internet coverage in the family store, so Anwar would have to go to an internet point in the camp to verify the updates.

He returned to the store in a moment and said that the red crescent had found two bodies, then ran again, leaving Ghalia praying desperately so that the rifo was not among them

The next time Anwar returned, said four bodies had been recovered and run again.

On his third return trip, he said they had recovered six bodies, including the rifa.

“I felt that a dagger pierced my heart, but I resigned myself to the will of God, and we got used to the hospital.”

In the hospital, the families of the other paramedics expected the bodies of their loved ones to arrive.

“We all ran towards the ambulances, crying. Emergency workers cried bitterly as they said goodbye to their colleagues.”

‘Forgive me’

As exuciant as the waiting of news was nothing compared to watching the video Rifaat had recorded or his last moments, which he found after his body.

Approximately 20 minutes, it can be heard that the Rife is heard about the mission in which they were.

An ambulance that had gone to the area of ​​Tal As-sult or south of Gaza to rescue the survivors or an Israeli bombing had disappeared around 4 in the morning of March 23.

Another ambulance that came to find him back to the base to say that the missing colleagues seemed to have been shot, and two more ambulances were out to help them. Ripate was in one.

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In the video, Ghalia could hear when his son saw the bodies of his colleagues and saw everyone in the ambulance that they hurry to help them, since they used clearly identifiable uniforms.

Then came the sound fire, and the rifo fell to the ground when the images were obscured and only his voice remained while repeating the Shahada, the declaration of Islamic faith, and guided his mother to forgive him.

“Forgive me, mom,” he said. “I wanted to help people. Forgive me.”

Both statements are linked to the faith of the rifo. Shahada is the most important statement and prayer recited by Muslims. They also say it on their death beds to reaffirm your faith.

Muslims believe that the road to heaven is through their parents and through having lived a good life and not damaging anyone, and Ripaat wanted to die knowing that the mother forgives him in death.

“Rifaat knew how deeply attached he was for him and how I constantly worried about him, so his last words were asking for my forgiveness because I knew that losing it would break my heart,” Ghalia tells Al Jazeera.

The boy who became paramedic

“My son was beautiful and charming. I worshiped him. He was handsome, generous and giving without limits,” says Ghalia.

Anwar reminds a child who always ran after ambulances, fire trucks, excavators, anything with flashing emergency lights and a siren.

“[Rifaat] I loved emergency work, and when high school ended, he chose that path. “

Ghalia worried when Riphate chose emergency medical services, joining the Palestinian Society Red Crescent in October 2023 when Israel’s war began in Gaza, but ceded when Ripaat showed how determined she was.

“He told me the same and then told me in his final moments:” Mom, I want to help people. “

Through the Israel War, Ghalia constantly feared for the security of time, warning him and begged him to stay safe.

Every time he got home after a difficult day, Rifate told his mother what he had seen while trying to rescue people.

“I would wash its soaked blood uniform while he apologized and stepped on how I recovered the remains of children, women and men under the rubble,” he said.

“It was that devastated, but never cools.”

Rifate had dreamed of continuing his studies abroad, to learn more about the emergency response and return to Gaza to bring his education home to pay people, says Ghalia.

“[He was also] Our only support due to his father’s disease until he completely exhausted his bank account one day.

“I broke crying, but he assured me and said it was fine, that I shouldn’t be sad for money.”

There is pride in Ghalia when she talks about her son, the fact that she sacrificed to serve and help others is comforted.

“My son Rifate will live, and I will raise my minor children to follow their steps and become paramedics,” says Ghalia, referring to his children Abdul Jawwad, 13, and Suleiman, 11.

“The raffle left us a noble message and an eternal impact,” he adds.

“I always think about him every time I see the flowers and plants that planted around our store.”